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August 20, 2019, 02:05:10 PM

Author Topic: The joke house  (Read 565 times)

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Offline Snotface

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2019, 03:27:38 AM »
Newlyweds on their honeymoon the husband says, "I need to be honest with you. I am obsessed with golf. I eat sleep and drink it! If we're having dinner, I think golf. I we're making love, I am thinking golf. I hope this don't change things too much?"
The wife replies, "If we're being honest then I need to tell you that I am a hooker!"
"No problem" the husband says. "Just spread your legs a little more, adjust your grip on the golf club and you should be fine."

Offline Snotface

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2019, 03:28:48 AM »
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

Offline Snotface

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2019, 03:31:59 AM »
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

Offline HellraZer

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2019, 09:14:05 AM »
lol, good one, think my kids are old enough to share this one with them as th y are decent golf players.(^^)smile

Newlyweds on their honeymoon the husband says, "I need to be honest with you. I am obsessed with golf. I eat sleep and drink it! If we're having dinner, I think golf. I we're making love, I am thinking golf. I hope this don't change things too much?"
The wife replies, "If we're being honest then I need to tell you that I am a hooker!"
"No problem" the husband says. "Just spread your legs a little more, adjust your grip on the golf club and you should be fine."

Offline HellraZer

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #19 on: April 04, 2019, 09:17:54 AM »
LOL, yet another golf joke I could share!(^^)smile. Good to see this message board is finally where it should be.  Nice and quiet as well as roach proofed.(^^)smile

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

Offline HellraZer

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Re: The joke house
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2019, 09:22:40 AM »
Iím gonna miss OBK. lol  Hopefully you time to time share these great jokes to give everyone a laugh or two.  Keep it up SF!

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
« Last Edit: April 05, 2019, 07:33:26 AM by HellraZer »

 

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